Blog #010 - Emotional Intelligence. The Importance of Active Listening
Elon Musk, Albert Einstein, Pythagoras, Isaac Newton – you've heard these names before, and they're known as geniuses, the smartest people to have walked the face of the Earth.
Hi! My name is Konrad, and I share a blog every Wednesday and a podcast episode every other Monday. Recently, I took on a new hobby - writing. I write about self-development, philosophy, relationships, and whatever comes to my mind.
The main reason behind this is simple - I want to become more articulate in my thoughts. That’s the whole point behind this blog, getting better by practice.
You may also be interested in my podcast - Triangle Theory.
Let me know what you liked and, more importantly, what you disliked, so we can improve! :)
back to the blog ⏬
Many of us put intelligent people on a pedestal.
While being intelligent helps, many of us forget about emotional intelligence, and I'm a firm believer that emotional intelligence has greater significance for your success.
Before delving into intelligence and emotional intelligence, I want to distinguish between them.
I've seen many 'educated' people in my life who attended university, college courses, yet they lack intelligence. I'm not here to say that university or college is worthless; in fact, it prepares you for life, teaches you independence, and you definitely learn some new skills and gain knowledge, but I don't believe it's important to get yourself in £40k debt to learn life skills. A little discomfort would do the job.
While Intelligence Quotient (IQ) helps you think logically and solve problems, the Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ) measures your ability to understand and manage emotions.
If you want to build something, yes, you have to learn how to solve problems and think logically, but I believe that this is easier to achieve than controlling your emotions, to not let your ego dictate your life.
For most of your life, you're going to deal with other people, and failing to manage your emotions may lead others to perceive you as lacking maturity, no matter how smart you are.
We are social animals; knowing how to connect with other people requires immense emotional intelligence. People work with those they trust, and by 'work', I don't just mean professionally; it extends to relationships and friendships, and when collaborating on projects. Would you rather work with a genius who's difficult to deal with or someone who isn't particularly bright but naturally easy-going?
If you are like me, I'm sure you would choose the second option because you want not only a transactional relationship but one that aligns with your values.
Now, let me present a scenario:
You are a business owner looking to recruit the following candidates:
Let's call him Garry. He's an extremely intelligent person, attended Harvard University, and graduated in the top 5. However, when you asked for references, you realised that Garry never attended work events, he's hard to talk to, and struggles to work in a team environment.
Another candidate is named Jimmy. Jimmy went to a university in Norwich. When you asked his boss for references, he mentioned that Jimmy is good at what he does, he works hard, doesn't mind staying after working hours, and is extremely funny! He is also an empathetic individual who supports his colleagues when problems arise.
Like with everything, there are exceptions. If I need surgery, I don't mind if Garry is funny or not; I want him to do the best job, and I want the best surgeon to complete the task at hand. However, these are extremes.
I was never a top-grade student or an exceptionally smart person, but what I'm good at is connecting with people. I make friends easily, and I'm an incredibly good listener. Many of my friends come to me to vent about their problems; I'm not there to advise them, I'm there to listen, and that's all people want from you – to listen. People hate when they're advised without asking.
If you're the person people turn to for venting, it means you're quite good at listening and connecting on a deeper level – you're emotionally intelligent. Everything you're going to do in life will require other people's help, so it's important to develop skills in handling those situations.
I'd say that intelligence and emotional intelligence are both equally important, but if I could choose to have more of one, I would lean on emotional intelligence.
What about you?
…but who am I to give you advice… I’m just a monkey who lifts his head up and looks up at the stars
Konrad